Lefse Lovers, Lutefisk Laughter Location
Uff-da, we have lots of Norwegian Jokes and Ole and Lena jokes and other kinds of Scandinavian humor. The more Lutefisk jokes we put on this page, the more people will find Scandihoovian jokes, when they search for Uff-da jokes. Yah, sure you Bet'cha!
[Click Here]to find out how to keep a Norwegian busy.
[Click Here] to find the top 10 reasons to EAT Lutefisk!
[Click Here] to find the top 10 USES for Lutefisk!
[Click Here] to find the Top 10 ways to get KIDS to EAT Lutefisk!
And now...For the Ole and Lena Jokes...
Sven and Ole were visiting the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. After seeing a display on the Space Shuttle, Ole said, "I sure vish I had enough money to buy a Space Shuttle".
Sven looked surprised and asked, "Vhat in da vorld vould you vant vit a Space Shuttle"?
Ole replied, "I didn't SAY I vanted a Space Shuttle!"
Sven and Ole were drinking in the local bar one night when a beautiful young woman came up and asked Sven to dance.
Well the night went on and the young lady took Sven home, and the next thing you know the couple fell head over heels in love with each other, and then they're engaged to be married. Ole had never seen Sven so happy, so one day Sven shows up at Ole and Lena's house, all sad and depressed.
Ole asks Sven, "Sven, you're lookin sadder than I've ever seen you, wat's da matter?
Sven replies: "Ole, it's dat woman I'm going to marry, I've found out some terrible tings about her.
"For one ting I found out she only vant's me for my money.
"But Sven" Ole says, "you don't have any money."
and Sven replies; "Ya, and dat's da other ting - she's stupid too.
Ole bought a mule and took it home. When he tried to put it into the barn, the mule's ears hit the top of the doorway and the mule refused to enter the barn.
Sven stopped by, and he and Ole started discussing ways to get the mule into the barn. Ole said, "Vell, I'll yust have to yack up da barn and add a little to the valls to make it taller."
Sven thought for a minute and offered, "Vell, you haf a dirt floor, vhy don't you yust dig out a little."
"Nah, dat von't help any!" said Ole, "It's his ears, that's too long, not his legs!"
Sven and Ole got a job putting in telephone poles. After the first day, they were talking to the foreman. The forman asked how many poles they had put in.
"Two" said Ole.
"Only TWO?" Said the foreman, "All the other crews put in eight to ten."
"Yah!" Said Ole, "But did you see how much dey left sticking out?"
Sven and Ole went into the garbage hauling business. All they had for a truck was Sven's 1949 Ford pick-up with the grain sides on it. They had just it filled to the top, when they were stopped by the police. The Police said that garbage was blowing off the top of their load and if they didn't find a way to hold it down, he was going to give them a ticket. So, Ole climbed up on top and lay down spread eagle on top of the garbage.
As they drove along, they went under a bridge. Two Swedes were standing on the bridge and saw this sight. One of them remarked, "Vell vould you look at dat. Somebody threw away a perfectly good Norwegian."
Ole always caught his limit of fish and he would never tell anyone his secret. Finally the Game Warden threatened to take away Ole's license unless Ole taught him how he did it.
Ole finally agreed to meet him early one morning to go fishing. The Game Warden came with six rods and three tackle boxes, so he'd be ready for anything. Ole showed up with a small brown paper bag.
They climbed in a row boat and Ole rowed out to a spot on the lake. Ole then opened his bag and pulled out a stick of dynamite, lit it and tossed it into the water. After an explosion and shower of water, dozens of fish floated to the surface. Ole started to row the boat around picking up fish.
The Game Warden was surprised and furious. He shouted, "Ole, you can't do that! It's against the LAW!"
Ole calmly reached into his bag and took out another stick of dynamite and lit it. He tossed it to the Game Warden and asked, "Vell, are ya gonna to talk? Or, ya gonna fish?"
Lena had just bought a new cell phone and she called up Ole. "Hi dere Ole. Guess what. I'm talking to you while I'm drivin' down the Interstate."
Ole said, "Uff-da Lena you better be careful. I yust saw on da news dat dere's one idiot driving da wrong way down da Interstate."
"What do you mean ONE idiot" replied Lena, "dere must be a HUNDRED idiots goin' da wrong way."
Ole Says...
"Yust when I got it all together...I forgot where I put it."
"The hurryder I goes da behinder I gets."
"Dere's tree kinds of people...Dose who can count and dose dat can't."
"I intend to live forever - so far, so good"
OLE: "Vat do you love most about me? My natural good looks or my manly physique?"
Lena: "Your sense of humor."
[Click Here] For more Ole and Lena Jokes!
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